Strong Families Begin With The End In Mind
By Darlene MacAuley, February 2008 Mothering With Heart and Hands Newsletter
In January I struggled with becoming clear about what I wanted to create for myself and my family in 2008. Last weekend, two key activities caused some pieces to fall into place, providing me with a compass, a destination, and clarity:
Habit #2 - Begin with the End in Mind
As a family, beginning with the end in mind means creating a clear, compelling vision of what you and your family are about. Covey encourages families to take the time to collectively identify their most important values and create a family mission statement. This statement serves as the destination of where your family intends to go. This mission becomes the guiding principles that govern your family’s life.
An example of a family mission statement is: “Our home will be a place where our family, friends and guests find joy, comfort, peace and happiness. We will seek to create a clean and orderly environment that is livable and comfortable. We will exercise wisdom in what we choose to eat, read, see and do at home. We want to teach our children to love, learn, laugh, and to work and develop their unique talents.”
Effective family mission statements have several benefits:
You will be more decisive in your parenting
You and your children will be held accountable to expectations laid out in the
mission statement
Your children will learn to experience natural consequences of actions that are
not in alignment with the family’s mission. In turn, they will grow to be self-
regulating, as they learn to make decisions within the boundaries of the family’s
governing structure.
Working together as a family to discover your shared values and vision will help you create a synergistic energy in your household. This bonding and collective conscience between all of you is what creates a “compass” , or the inner guidance that helps keep all members moving toward the goals of your destination, or the mission statement.
A Real-Life Metaphor to Illustrate Habit #2
Geocaching is like a treasure hunt. Using a GPS device as your compass, you are led to a specific destination where you will find a “cache” or container that holds a log book and various treasures.
Our family had its first geocaching trek last weekend. Our exciting expedition led us to caches in Target parking lots, neighborhood parks, and cliff-top overlooks!
This experience was a perfect illustration of Covey’s 2nd Habit, Begin with the End in Mind. My family began by entering our destination – the coordinates of the cache’s location – into the GPS device. We then let our compass show us the way there. It led us over park trails and through cactus-filled fields, and we trustingly allowed this device to guide us. Once we reached our cache, our destination, we were rewarded with a great treasure.
Geocaching reminded me of other times in my life when I created goals. At these times, I created the vision of what I wanted as my outcome. By keeping my eye on this vision, I did not have the need to spend a great deal of time planning my course of action, as opportunities seemed to unfold effortlessly. My vision helped me to prioritize my activities because I asked myself, "Will this activity keep me in alignment with my vision?" Having goals and mission statements truly do help our internal compass to guide us to success.
Habit #2 for Self-Development
Over the past week, I developed my personal mission statement to get myself on track. In it, I identified what I hold most dear by imagining myself at the end of my life and thinking on what mattered most.
Having my own mission statement made a noticeable impact on my attitude and objectives over the past week. I found I was more conscientious of my relationships. I was more patient with and attentive to my family. It was easier for me to stop a work session because I internalized that my family was more important than my work. I also felt comforted in the moments I veered off course because I was able to refer back to my mission, reconnect with my values, and once again get back into alignment. This is a powerful tool.
Over the coming months, I look forward to creating my family’s mission statement. I foresee it will be a positive experience. In addition, I’m appreciative for my family’s new geocaching hobby, because it will continue to remind me that by beginning with the end in mind, we’ll always be led to great treasure.
About the Author
Darlene MacAuley is an Empowerment Coach whose mission is to empower women through all stages of motherhood, including the prenatal period and childbirth. She encourages clients' growth through education, experience and self-reflection. Darlene's own journey as a parent and her willingness to acknowledge her children as great teachers has taught her humility and appreciation for trusting in something bigger than herself. Darlene lives in Austin, Texas with her husband, son and daughter.
Additional Information
- Covey’s website has a simple tool to help you build your own mission statement.
- I highly recommend “The 7 Habits for Highly Effective Families” as guide to
creating your family’s mission statement. It offers steps to create it as well as
many examples from other families. Go to the
February 2008 Mothering With Heart and Hands Newsletter